A Fine Line to Balance, Being Awake
What we are focused upon, we are thinking about, and our thoughts create how we feel in each and every moment.
How we feel is expressed in a frequency that is very real in its impact on others and the world. It is felt in the tone of our voice, in our written words, and especially in how we choose to act or React to life.
This is how we actively create our reality.
To add an additional layer of understanding the source of the frequencies we resonate out, they can also be from feelings we are experiencing sub-consciously, not just the conscious thoughts we are focused on and feeling.
This is the simplest of truths that most do not really put into practical moment to moment application. How can we? So much is thrown at us every day! Its hard to stop yourself and breathe to allow awareness to return to the potent impact of our thoughts and feelings.
This blog posts intent is to put into our awareness the reasons why we need to really apply ourselves to how we can influence (or choose not to!) the physics of the physical realm as well as our connection to the spiritual realms with our energy generating capabilities.
By your understanding this more, you will be re-claiming the potency of your in human vessel form in a way that strengthens the inter relatedness of form(physical) and non-form(spirit.)
So what we feel is an energetic frequency we are sending out.
This is how - What is within becomes without.
And how we draw to us, and make real, manifest the reality we want, or do not want.
Frequency resonance is the same as giving something, or someone (thought-form) energy. It is “prayer,” and healing energies that should only be given if it is asked for. (Otherwise the energies being directed at another, goes against the persons free-will of choice.)
Resonating our attention energy can also be uplifting and liberating, as if the other people you are interacting with resonate the same frequency as you are, it multiples the frequencies impact.
In this way, our thoughts and feelings tune the frequencies we are sending out and are receiving.
What we are thinking and feeling is what we send out, are resonating frequency wise. And what we are sending out is directly related to what kinds of frequencies we will accept - receive.
All throughout our history, however, things have not been as they have been represented. This factor is still very much the case even in the "truther community."
Our energy generating abilities are taken advantage of if we are ignorant of hidden agendas behind what is trying to get our attention. And we end up “looshing” ourselves, giving away our life-force energy to manifest realities we would not otherwise choose, as what we are focusing our thought-form frequencies upon is disguised as something it is not.
This is why doing most group meditations can be very dangerous.
Humanities ability to sustain our focus and send energetic frequencies has declined over the years due to diet, lack of education in the principles of energy generation, and societal programming.
But what ability we still do have to resonate out our energetic frequency is utilized by the false controllers (from hereon in referred to as false cons) to make real the reality they want.
Most of what we, as awake and aware persons, are reading and researching about is from the alt. media, TV news, and the internet. As we know, a lot of it is total BS out there.
A number of topics have revealed themselves to be cyclical in nature and as such are a "practice run" by the false cons to make another try for our thought-form energy generating abilities to support the frequency of what they want.
People fall for it, if they have not been around long enough to see the game for what it is. A ploy to divert and manipulate our attention energy- a distraction!
There is also a relationship between the our personal frequencies of the collective consciousness frequencies of humanity to think of here. We are all connected to each others frequencies. The false cons would like it best if we got very worked up and overly emotional over the "disclosure/fear porn" topics they put out publicly, as that is the most effective way to lower our overall frequencies!
Negative, shocking global events also impact the collectives frequencies. Their goal is to keep our personal to collective frequencies as low as possible. A balance must be created in what we focus on. Do we choose to deeply ruminate, fixate on the bad all the time? Or do we define and enact solutions?
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| 5G, or chemtrails, Nibiru/“planet X,” RV’s, trans-humanism,
transgender, Ritual abuse. These are very serious things we need to address. But the more emotional we are about them, the more we are helping them to create them. |
So be mindful of what you are focused on, as what you are paying attention to is the frequency you are resonating thus magnetically drawing to yourself.
Its our choice.
It’s time to take back this power. To own where our focused thought-form (attention) energy is going.
We are, after all, The creators of our reality.
The more we research, or focus on an issue for us, the more we can manifest it in our personal reality by sustaining our focused attention(energy), and emotional reactions to the topic. We will begin to "see it's effects" everywhere, in us, in others.
As our frequency receiver is attuned to it. We project it on all in our environment, including who we interact with because our focused attention on the topic is generating the frequency of it.
We resonate out the frequency of how the topic makes us feel. And we exclude the receiving of other frequencies that may provide a balanced re-solution that will broaden our frequencies spectrum of expression. This will result in our perceptions and reactions becoming healthy actions.
This is the point of why our human vessels were given the capability of such strong desires and emotions. We were meant to use our emotions to form the manifesting intent and drive(will) to resolve problems. Instead our emotions have become distorted paler shades of what they were meant to be. The source of our “magikal” ability to create and manifest a balanced expression of healing for ourselves, each other and all other lifeforms in our world!
The way that the disclosure topics have been portrayed in the alt. media is especially fraught with dangers for us psychologically. What we are generating frequency wise has a tendency to get out of control and terribly imbalanced when we are deeply re-searching, or heatedly discussing disclosure topics with one another.
We need to see that the search to re-member - put back together what we once knew can be done much more effectively, in a much less charged manner. Especially if the topic we are focused upon is in an area that we are deeply drawn to. As this "draw" may very well speak to your having unresolved this lifetime and past lifetime issues around the topic of your research.
This sub-conscious category of thought-form frequency manifestation will be brought up and discussed further in more detail, later in this blog post.
Our emotions were never meant to become the glue that fixates us on problems to the point that we manifest them all over again in our lives!
Emotions are like physical pain, it is there to re-mind us to re-solve the issue that created them.
Remember too, that our collective reality is potently formed and impacted by many of us, focusing on a certain dramatized issue and the fear it induces.
And do not get me wrong, I am in no way saying to ignore what the false cons are saying or doing, or saying they will do.
I am cautioning against being highly emotional towards these topics that they are constantly sending our way.
Re-member - The false cons use the potent reality creating capabilities our thoughts and emotions have to charge the frequencies of the reality they want!
How to step back and remove your frequencies from their plans is simple - for the surface public arena topics.
Acknowledge it, clarify how you stand on it by researching it in an objective way. Make it Real, which means to have an objective, independent existence!
Have discussions with others if need be, but do not take the research or discussions so far that you cross that line of being too emotional about it.
If you do find yourself getting too emotional about it, then really take a step back. Get off the internet. Go outside. Do something you love doing for a while to re-balance (your heart-space) and re-set your mind.
Doing something you love is the best thing to do to help you process, anyways.
Then come back to it when you feel to. With your frequencies re-attuned to your playful, heart center you will find that your both seeing the topic of research more objectively and can much more easily take the actions that are in alignment with your inner(self) re-search. Then the discussions with others you have and the resulting opinions evolve on the topic are much more beneficial to the all.
The power of our in-form-ed choice to balance our thoughts, feelings frequency resonance is potent. We do have the ability to change a lot in our inner and outer(physical) realms.
Past and present lifetime fears, and other psychological imbalances and even physical conditions and injuries that hurt in the current body/mind you have now can go away.
*A teacher I once had, told this story to our class. It exemplifies the powerful ability we have to heal ourselves by changing How we think and feel about injury, illness, or mental state ~ we can change our perceptions.
Our taking back the control of our balanced thought and emotion frequency resonance is exactly how many of the things the false cons planned events have already failed on a collective level.
By our taking (in-form-ed) action and removing the fuel our personal to collective attention energy from the lower frequency they want.
And this has made them more desperate than ever. The level of drama we have seen in the "truther community" has escalated so much of late.
So many have fallen to the distractions and life force energy harvesting "fear porn" and religious mind binds of prophesy have been designed to make us do.
Try not to focus on how sad that is either, as these "lost ones" frequency wise will need you to maintain your fullest spectrum of frequencies so they will have a ladder rung, a stair step to get a foothold on themselves. When they are ready of course. One cannot push the river of humanities free will of choice right to make mistakes!
We are not the only species that prefers to choose the easy path. Hardly anyone wants to look at traumatic events they have experienced with the intent to let them go.
It takes a lot of pain and hitting "rock bottom" or one too many "dark night's of the soul" to come to fully realize that letting go of the traumatic events that split off from the rest of to make our shadow parts is the only recourse for regaining control of where our energetic frequencies are at.
Most go along in life, blissfully ignorant of the potent impact their sub-conscious past life and mirrored into this lifetime, wounds have on their thought-forms, feelings and what they manifest in their lives, and others. The preference to avoid doing the inner work is also a fear of change.
By avoiding our inner work, we get to keep the familiar, many lifetime habitually established charged emotions from our unreleased, sub-conscious trauma.
No matter how uncomfortable and how much upset it caused in our lives.
Which leads us to continue to project the past into our present moments as if what happened to us, and how it changed us, is a badge that gives us some rights, or accolades.
This is how the savior/ego narcissist and "poor me" victim stance dualism has taken up such a strong sickly root in our societies culture.
Denial of our shadows parts trauma is often earmarked by repeating "external" situations happening in our lives. They are the same occurrences, even if they are happening with different people. Reoccurring themes like "everyone betrays me" or "No one validates my experiences", or acknowledges "I was right."
I know that last few paragraphs were harsh, but it is the truth we must face if we truly want to get out of the situation we have been in here on this planet.
I have written long documents about what has been called the "Saturn Moon matrix." Which was a technology that kept frequencies of mind control beamed towards us all our incarnated lifetimes here.
The simplified version of how this technology controlled us, was to trigger the physiological, psychological and psyche damage we have experienced the entire time we have been incarnated in the physical realms of form. It recorded our lifetimes experiences via the "soul traps" that trapped our soul's spirit upon each "death." So it knew exactly what made up the traumas that formed our Shadow parts.
That technology is faltering, as it was badly broken a few years ago. But it is still sending out enough of a signal to maintain our own free will choice to not make the choice to let go of what keeps our shadow parts being feed off of by the false cons and their willing allies.
This is the case no matter if we remember the details of that trauma. The false cons know what we deny in the dark, sub-conscious parts of us. They specifically design each and almost every tv series, movie, news story, “new tech” and alt. media disclosure to trigger what our deepest wounds are around. We want to become more aware so we research, and we want to raise our consciousness, but we also do not want to be used as frequency batteries for their use!
Its a fine line, to balance, being awake.
There is great danger in becoming more aware to what has gone on here.
We can fall off that fine line of Heart and mind in balance that is very much needed to avoid giving away our life-force energy to the false cons. We need to apply ourselves to how deeply we are researching sometimes, and how much we balance ourselves by doing things we love.
Seeking answers is good, but the emotional reactions we can have to the research we are doing cannot be underestimated in its potentiating impact. If our sub-conscious wounds are deep, the risk of you being in denial of a “vampiric feeding loop” going on within your auric field is entirely possible.
Being accountable to our frequency while we discuss research topics with others is as essential the amount of time we spend researching. Self moderation is key to ensure the emotional balance to avoid feeding our energetic resonance to the false cons.
This is the only way we can save ourselves from falling prey to our own deepest wounds being triggered and the associated shadow parts emotional distortions wreaking havoc in our interpersonal relationships.
In fact, what I discovered (in a most uncomfortable way) over the past year is that, if we are not balanced in what we are focusing on, in other words, doing enough of the the things we love to re-calibrate ourselves to our Heart energy centers and our spirit's wisdom there.
Our Shadow parts and the things that feed off of them can really dig in in ways we cannot fathom. And believe me, in "secret," in the dark parts of us, that we tend to avoid because we do not want to face whats there..."they" do harvest a lot of our life-force energy.
The "they" I am referring to now, are not just the false cons. They are entities of either the Ai overlay or of the non-form (spirit) realms that have been assigned to each of us, by the false cons.
Their purpose is to feed off our shadow parts energetic frequencies, which makes our shadow parts even more "scary" to deal with. Hence the "hungry wolf" shadow part analogy that wants to eat us is even more effective in terms of us wanting to avoid facing our fears.
There is an Ai version of the "Shadow beings" that feed our shadow parts. This type is the one that the "Saturn Moon Matrix" generates with it frequency pulse to lower our willingness to face the part of us that drags our overall frequency down.
The organic version of these non-form entities are different. They are either forcefully bound to do this, or are completely willing, as they have become addicted to the energies they acquire from us. (This is where the Vampire and Werewolves "myths"are very much truth.)
Many of these entities have been denied access to their "home" realms by the false cons in the long past. This was done to create the starved, angry "monsters" that hate us, and feed off the highly charged emotional fears we have in our shadow parts. Which is not unlike how the current cycle of abuse was begun with the dinosaurs extinction which starved the previous species of reptilian to become the power-hungry Draco that have abused us and now we do it to ourselves, unless we learn about our energetic frequencies true use.
... And decide to move forward knowing and owning the responsibility of your own energy generating capabilities ...
To re-cap for clarity, our energetic frequency generating capabilities come from our thoughts and feelings/emotions.
They are the frequencies we are resonating out and the frequencies we allow ourselves to receive.
We manifest and create our personal to collective realities with them.
This is how "new timelines" can be created.
If we deny the connection between our thoughts, feelings and shadow parts have to our energetic frequencies we are allowing them to be used by the false cons to create their chosen realities/timelines.
These frequencies of trauma contained within our shadow parts lower our overall consciousness frequencies as they are being fed off ("looshed") of by the non-form allies of the false cons. Which can make us have the need to be an "energy vampire" ourselves due to the energetic drain we are experiencing. This is the epitome of an "psychic vampirism" abuse cycle.
So how do we re-claim our frequencies from "their" use? And cease participating in the "I'm being drained so I need to drain others," "energy vampire karmic" loop.
We make the choice to let go of what has happened to us.
Go to this article for more insight into the energy vampire abuse cycle, here.
Essentially, we end the energy abuse cycle by being honest with ourselves and coming to terms with how we think, and feel about ourselves and letting go of whatever trauma is keeping your shadow part "hungry." Doing this transmutes our energetic frequencies.
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| Life's challenges and the mistakes we make, are a gift to learn how to be a better person to ourselves and others. |
The sea is a metaphor for the energy of all that Is ~ in this physical creation.
The element of Water is what began physical Life, and sustains it.
Water metaphorically, and literally stands for our emotions and memories.
Our balanced or unbalanced emotions are what governs our energetic frequencies!
The "first law" of Conservation of Energy says:
If Energy can neither be created nor destroyed- only changed- transmuted.
Then by making the choice to face, acknowledge and Let Go of our Fears, and any other highly charged emotions the come from trauma contained within our shadow parts...
We Can Change how we have tuned our frequencies to allow them to be utilized by the false cons. We can transmute what is a weakness in us, to a strength, by stepping up to authentically re-claim and conserve our frequencies for our own use.
Humanity, in general, has fear of change.
This is very possibly due to our personal to collective experiences of planetary cataclysms, global wars and genocides that we may have gone through over the lifetimes we have been incarnated in this 'verse.
Our spirit contained by our soul, would carry the memory of experience, subconsciously at the very least. And it would be imprinted upon each of our in form vessel's epi-genetics DNA markers forever after.
Any experience of a "sudden death," in the current lifetime also would also be on recorded in our DNA's epi-genetic markers. Both the collective past cataclysms, and the the this lifetime personal "sudden death" traumas are deeply psychologically, physiologically damaging.
The epi-genetic markers of these traumas can be turned on or off by our own free will choice. This is not to forget the person or event - but to ensure your frequencies are not being "looshed" via these traumatic experiences by the false cons.
Believe me, They do know exactly where and how we are triggered to feel grief, pain, and anger. These are some of the most unbalancing emotional states. Unless we make a conscious choice around our human perspectives of "death"it will be taken advantage of to create a frequencies feeding loop.
Death is not "an end" to a spirit, after all, we still are here, now, again.
And who we were in the past, is also in us now, along with all our ancestors.
A passed on loved one, also still exists, in spirit, and in you.
As someone who has experienced sudden death of several loved ones, I can tell you with absolute confidence that the passed on loved ones would much rather you let go of actively grieving them.
I have heard this from people both before they died and from their spirits after death!
By choosing to let go of the grief, you are turning off your bodies frequency lowering epi-genetic trauma. Which opens up your frequencies to actually shift to being in true Loving connection to each one of us, in form and in non-form (spirit.)
Do not underestimate the connections between us, the living and the "dead."
We are all spirits first and foremost. Our whole "higher" selves, is a spirit!
We will always be part of one another from our spirits frequencies all sharing the same Source energy, regardless of whether or not we are incarnated in bodies.
Try to see that what happens to us, around us, from a place of knowing this.
As holding onto anyone, with any strong emotional state, such as grief, has a contracting (tightening/narrowing) impact on our frequencies.
Whereas, with your acceptance of the fact that the traumatic event happened, you will expand your frequencies. Your balanced emotions and objective perspective on these traumatic life events then, will allow for more connection to spirit(s.)
In the case of our experiencing sudden death in wars, genocides and planetary cataclysms. By prompting to the possibility of this trauma being experienced by your spirit, and acknowledging its presence in your spirit's soul container, and you physical body's DNA, you will release the contracted state of your frequencies.
A simple thought-form "prayer" intention said over a lit candle, and a glass of water to symbolize Life, and these memories, will acknowledge this experience. Doing this in a authentic way to both honor your past experiences as well as your ancestors will allow you to let go of the collective DNA "fear of change" these cataclysmic experiences left in us.
The false cons are very much aware of what we, as spirits, incarnated in this 'verse have each experienced. The wars that took place in our galaxy "a long, long time ago" were not in a galaxy "far, far away" as portrayed in the Star wars movies, they were right here and of the worst sort. Entire planets were destroyed which made all life on them suddenly spirits.
Most of the news stories, books and movies are purposely presented in a way that trigger these cataclysmic global "extinction" events through various means (climatic change,viruses/plaque events, nuclear space wars, etc.) This is specifically done by the false cons to maintain a continual "fight or flight" baseline that keeps us shut down cognitively, collectively. And to keep this "fear of change" successfully narrowing and lowering our frequencies.
Water also carries memory, so let your grief release practice with the glass of water, absorb your intention to release this understandable fear of change from the subconscious memory, ...so that Life may go on unhindered by the damage of holding onto it any longer!
Even after we have acknowledged our "sudden death" subconsciously held traumas, there will be habitual layers that we need to become aware of that we need to stop doing. These are ways we will draw back into us, the "looshing" hooks from the false cons.
Humanity is a creature of habit after all, and what was once deeply subconscious, and only recently brought to our conscious acknowledgement will need to be reinforced with daily effort other wise we can consent all over again to having our life-force harvested.
We are not the only species that has a tendency to be stubborn. Denial and the preference to stay "comfortably numb" with familiar habits, "old way" of doing things, no matter how destructive it is. These destructive choices are a defining characteristic of a 'verse that has gone through collective "sudden trauma."
The point is, We have carried for far too long what has happened to us without looking at how it changed us for the worse. Our planet, and others have paid the price for our unreleased traumas damage.
We can change this by looking honestly at how we think, feel and act in each and every moment. By our dropping our denial we can deny the false cons the use of our creative frequencies and reclaim the present moment for humanities present and future re-member-ances of the ways of spirit.
With a solid consistent effort, we can think and act "outside of (our shadow part's lower frequency energy) box." And new, creative collaborations with each other can be established that can easily outsmart the false cons obsolete ways of doing things!
The "wheel spinning" of utter frustration we experience when we try to accomplish a change in our lives, even in our world ends!
The false cons use our energetic focus willingly being diverted into distractions, the frequency lowering "old ways" of doing things - turns on them as we grow outside of their control!
Our lack of choice, by denial allows a heck of a lot of our Life-force energy to be subverted to create pain and suffering that impacts much more than just ourselves.
We must stop the self denial game if we are to truly take back our potency,
our power of choice!
Self denial needs to be defined, as it has many connotations and meanings for each person.
Self denial has two forms, a positive and a negative.
The positive form of self denial is the emotional self-regulation that gives you the ability to “override natural, habitual, or dominant behavioral response to a stimulus in order to implement more adaptive goal-oriented behaviors.”
Above quote was taken from this psychology article titled Executive Functions,
by Adele Diamond, here.
Let's think about that psychological positive meaning of self denial for a minute.
It is "the emotional self-regulation that gives you the ability to 'override natural, habitual, or dominant behavioral response to a stimulus in order to implement more adaptive goal-oriented behaviors.”
Positive self denial is us not being reactive to what is happening in our lives.
It is us functioning in the present moment, in the real - objective- independent existence/reality we want!
Not the one our shadow parts project the past experiences its stuck in onto the now.
This gives a deeper understanding to the quote by Epictetus, a Greek philosopher that says:
“It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”
The negative form of self-denial is earmarked by feeling a lack of trust in ourselves, in your being able to accomplish what we want/need to in life. Also by being overly hard on ourselves, with quiet low self talk usually going on when you get frustrated. Almost always overthinking things, which leads to anxiety, depression, and illness.
Most of us recognize some or all of the above signs of the negative self denial.
I know I did, starting at a very young I battled all of the above, including hearing voices in my head that were not me or my whole self. All my life I have had both waking and while sleeping, visions. They were so real, I could not shake the feelings that the experience of them brought forth in me.
Over the past few years, I can see now, that these visions in my youth, was my inner wisdom re-awakening in me, this lifetime. These past few years has been the quickening of my mind processing these visions and trying to catch up with what came to me back then, to take it to solutions now.
What I had experienced, in my inner realm, directly led to my having a great need to figure out what was really going on here. I became introverted, and the "wall-flower" observer. I began to study my family for clues, and discovered many repeating patterns of self sabotaging behaviors in them. I began to see the version of the same ones in myself.
This was the beginning of my "Shadow work" journey that I am still on to this day.
We are not alone on this planet for a reason. The false cons "work" here has made us think we are isolated and so stuck to our shadow parts wounds and ways, like
"badges" of "honor or dis-honor," that we need to stubbornly figure it all out on our own.
But the fact is, we cannot transmute/change the "old ways" by not opening up to the ways other people can show us of "how not to be, or how to be." We are all potential mirrors for each other, if we have the eyes and ears...
At this time, many of us are aware that the false cons rule over us is at an end.This "end" and new beginning we are at now, is fragile and tenuous as it requires a choice, that we have been led to believe is "too hard" to make.
As Humanities consciousness increases, what is unconscious, aka sub-consciously controlled by our shadow parts in us, is also being raised to the surface - to be seen or ignored.
You may have noted an increase in the "dark night's of the soul" or "break-downs to (hopefully) breakthroughs" in yourself and others of late?
What is sub-conscious in us (our shadow aspects) are part of us, energetically - frequency wise, emotionally and physically.
So when one part of us changes the other parts also seek change.
Will what changes be for the better? That is up to you.
If Carl Jung and Albert Einstein had spent more time together, I think they would agree this time now, of the end of our allowing ourselves to be ruled over through our frequencies, is another area of synchronous interrelationship between physics(physicality) and matters of the psyche.
This has resulted in an increase in the mirroring reactions of our shadow parts upon other people's shadow parts.
What I mean by this is the increase in overall collective frequencies ~ is causing our unreleased trauma to refract, rather messily sometimes, off of one an other's shadow aspects. This maybe a homeostatic mechanism of the 'verse to return to balance as it brings out of us what needs addressing, in a way that is harder to ignore. All the "arguments" and misunderstandings that occur when us "truthers" try to interact when we are triggered by our shadow parts, makes what needs to find balance within glaringly obvious.
We need to put more awareness to this mirroring dynamic of our shadow parts interaction between each other in the "truther community." Otherwise irreparable damage in our relationships, both personal and social can occur.
Not to mention the fact that we lose our ability to really hear and see others important perspectives, and opinions ~ which is really important to our collective "truther" community evolving past the false cons co-opting of it.
As it is now, the "truther" community has developed an atmosphere that either lacks compassion ("spiritual bullies") or is a empathetic "energetic vampire" nightmare. All of which compounds the myriad of other perceptual issues each of us have hidden in our psyches damaged shadow parts around opening up and discussing what we are trying to process.
The false cons want our communication and ability to cognitively process fails, as we stumble around with our shadow parts reactive patterns stinging every time we try to do something or interact with others on a mission to apply some solution to help us all.
I can share a cautionary true story. One that ought to bring home all I have shared above.
For the past few years, as my consciousness and overall frequencies increased my sub-consciously carried memories also began to surface, as the two are linked, as Carl Jung said.
I responded by researching with an even greater vigor in an attempt to figure out what was returning to me and to find solutions that resolved the battle within me. This has made my shadow parts go even deeper into the darkest parts of my past, bringing them to the surface in response to my consciousness becoming stronger.
Time and time again the childhood visions I had had, as well as recent ones, would come back to me with more layers of memories and understanding revealed. Even now, much of what has unfolded in me of my visions is beyond words to express, but I knew I had to talk about our energetic frequencies in an understandable way that did not contain any mind bind to the "old ways" of the false cons.
In the middle of this time period I began to write about how to clear ones shadow aspects, as that was my focus as well. I was uncomfortable with what I was much more easily seeing in others. And knew was happening in me.
I was battle weary, however, as I had been doing my inner work for decades. The environment of the alt. media “truther community," laden with triggers did not help.
My home environment was also in the thick of the "truther community," so there was no escape, in my perception. I failed to do enough of the things I love to regain my inner balance.
I got angry and reactive with people who do not know this. And this anger allowed my resonant frequencies to lower. Which led to me making some pretty bad mistakes. This was a gift and a curse, as it eventually brought me out of my denial to finally face the core traumas that made up some of my deepest shadow parts.
What it took for my denial to break was quite severe for me. My quiescent self is quite gentle and caring, fearless and strong. Only a few truly know this. But who I became over the past year, was not this real (objective) me.
So this is me, being accountable for my choices and actions.
It matters not what anyone else feels thinks or says of me - what matters is how I feel about myself. The energy it took for me to express this is my agreement with myself to reclaim my fullest spectrum of frequencies possible, in this here in this now.
And maybe it will help others see where they too, are in denial of. To finally see what they need to let go of to get free of all the ways we are feed off of in the dark, on our traumatized shadow parts.
I grew up in a unhealthy, multi-generational dysfunctional family. I was not in “the programs” this lifetime, but I did have experiences since early childhood that are common to the programs in that I was taken a lot by non-form entities. I have turned this negative experience to a positive by my learning how to protect myself, and reclaim my sovereign sacred space. This became my public offering of my Center, Ground and Shield practice.
Part of what I have discovered recently, is that this practice only protects you to the level, depth you have truly released - let go of. Behaviors and re-actions that are no longer healthy for you. Letting go, surrendering, healing and forgiveness I have come to realize, are really hard for people to do, myself included.
We take run after run at it, until we stop to regroup and access where we are at if we are wise. Life goes on about us regardless and we may get derailed before we get to the core of our issues.
This amends is about my realizing my core patterns as I realized life and how I was reacting to it would just keep derailing me in the worst way until I faced and released what hurt the most in me.
My soul’s spirit container had been incarnated in this universe and on this planet for a very long time. I had more layers than I thought to deal with releasing. My childhood experiences were the tip of a great iceberg that tipped over in the past few years, to reveal the rest of hidden inner depths.
I have remembrances going back as far as the moment the original humans were created. I remember being in love with, and experiencing absolute awe in all forms of creation. Unbiased by the perspective altering traumas. I remember the pre-Draco reptilian (vessel) form I had then, being swiftly terminated because of the participation I had in the choice to create humans in the way that they were, designed to break the cycle of abuse and move beyond physicality in ways that most forms were not given.
The sick envy and coveting of the potential in humanity forever will be marked in my psyche. My Heart energy center was blocked by the worst kind of collective grief, born from my complete Love and appreciation of who and what humanity is capable of.
In all my lifetimes since, this deep grief, heart ache and longing for what was, has been in me. Each lifetime since I have been struggling to accept and adapt to what is, has been done. My heart energy center has been compromised time and time again over my lifetimes to ensure my souls’ Spirit containers destabilization as I carry a great potential to uplift peoples hearts with my compassionate understanding from being there at our vessels creation.
I remember calling out for help in 2002 in a way that I knew went far out into the cosmos, even though, at that time when I was mostly ignorant of the ways of spirit. I felt the response of the spirits who heard the call, and were willing to come here. This resulted in many I knew and loved becoming trapped in here.
I have been working on forgiving the guilt I have “blamed” myself for ever since. In 2016 I found out that this call for help I participated in, was what was termed “the wave,” or the return of origin blueprint of Cosmic Creational frequencies, and spirits containing the ability to carry these frequencies to reinforce this creation’s ability to attain harmonious balance between technology(Ai) and spirit. (ie: break the trance state to the simulated flat, domed plasma matrix hologram and return the consciousness to the real earth or the home of choice for each spirit.)
This and the following re-member-ances resulted in my 2nd energy center, the sexual, Creative, energy generating energy center being blocked by guilt.
I remember the attention I received from the royal Draco in this lifetime and others, due to my actions here to try and keep humanities potential potent. The numerous physical rapes and mind wipes to cover up all the times my full spectrum of frequencies was inverted, bound and used by them to hurt others at their rituals. These began in this lifetime from 1982 onward, but they spanned the whole time my spirit had incarnated here. These remembrances are the most disturbing for me. The physical pain and mental anguish I still am in the process of letting go.
The denial inside of me of them was so strong due to how awful and real the memories were. I experienced them from both my own perspective and the children's being abuse and murdered at the rituals. I felt the children reaching out to my consciousness for help, as they knew my spirit frequencies were of love of this creation. But I was was just as bound, trapped as they were. I felt powerless to help, all I could offer was comfort which never aided as much as I wanted it to, as in to end it. The absolutely repulsive glimpses of enjoyment felt by the vampire practitioners sickened and drained me of life-force just as much as each child was tortured, drained and killed. I felt powerless to do anything, which is the core of my low-self worth issues this lifetime, even though the objective part of me knows it was not my fault.
If it were not for the few other psychic friends I had back in 2010 that began to report to me of them seeing “men in long brown hooded cloaks" being seen in dreams taking me. I do not think I would have started to face this aberrant linking of my spirits frequencies to these rituals.
The positive I learned from this, is the reality of how we are all linked, connected. We are never alone.
Really knowing this took me a long time, despite these experiences. “They” know heartbreaking, powerlessness feelings in us will break the strongest of us, if down with enough repetition. It will isolate us, make us feel useless resulting in low self worth despite the opposite being true.
These experiences also helped me to prompt to the fact that humans and non-form spirits are just as culpable in the cycle of abuse here. Do not get me wrong, I spend my time blaming “Et’s.” I never said I was perfect, only that what I had discovered so far, was this or that.
In-form-ation (note the pun, in-form) evolves, as it will by our own inner understanding from non-from spirit to in-form that the perspective changes.
This combined by the re-building of our self trust and knowing we are not alone, we are connected, allows for the ability to truly hear each others different accounts of the ways of things and perspectives that will aid our own processing.
I got lost in the non-form damage part of myself. All of the above events I have touched on speak to parts of me that were not trusting of anything good being able to happen here.
Even though I tried to uplift others, I faltered deep inside of me in terms of how much I felt I could do, besides offer comfort and understanding.
The guilt and self blame that was reinforced time and time again kept a child-aspect of me angry, frustrated and lashing out at any who still still fell for the “good angels/g/Gods” or “demonized demon” rebels for humanity distortions. I had no right to judge, or try so hard to get through to people what they themselves had not experienced to know for themselves.
My own lack of self respect led me to not respect others. How could I, my own experiences were not theirs. Others could not know what harsh insights and wisdom I had gained just as I could not know theirs. The distorted emotions behind these traumas make communicating clearly so very difficult. All I knew was that I wanted so badly to help others avoid the pain I had been through. The misunderstandings of my words and tone I communicated in, often too intensely, spoke to the underlying powerlessness “they” (my inner “demons” - shadow parts AND the real Demons feeding off of them,) triggered in me.
This powerlessness was compounded by my spirit being too much a part of here, too integrated in the building blocks of humanity to actually be able to break the matrix itself.
My involvement in this creation is why I was I was targeted to be energetically drained, and psychically attached to by both the in-form, and non-form hooded Jesuits at these rituals. I know I am not the only one, so do not think that any of this recounting is to establish an excuse for my recent actions over the past years.
I am heartbroken about what has happened here. We cannot change the past, we can only change how are in this moment by choosing to let go of how we reacted to what happened to us, for real. That changes the future.
For this, I will give myself credit, that part of my life-path, my passion has always firmly been on clearing shadow work. This is why I have written so much about my journey to find our heart and spirit connection.
To show the way mistakes and all.
I do this to show the hows and whys of where we have been hurt goes much deeper than we think. And despite all the shadow parts releasing work I had done to clear myself of reactionary behaviors I still had more to do.
I had to hit my bottom to realize what I denied. I had people tell me that they saw an entity attached to me still. All I heard, at the time, in my reactive pain, was that “I was feeding off of my loved one.” The denial and reaction I had was the convinced-ness I rationalized that it was them, who was feeding off of me!
But in reality I was sensing the real Demon feeding off my life-force and projecting it onto others. I hope this admission helps others see the how the denial of our shadow parts “inner demons” leads to the real Demons.
I was in still in denial of what I had already been told had been seen hiding around me. It took 3 more months of stabling to admit it to myself. Including 3 collisions with others who had something on them of equal insidiousness and clever ability to hide within our own psyches wounds…
My own self denial allowed so much damage to occur in this lifetime by my own choice, until I decided otherwise.
The struggle within me to accept and adapt to my broken heart was the very war within that prevented my choice to let that trauma go.
Yes it was perpetuated many times over by the “covetous” ones who put situations into my lifetimes that they knew my past experiences would test me. I failed time and time again, well this lifetime I will pass the test.
As I accept what my broken heart did to me and others now. I stopped struggling against the river of life within me. I can now reach out with my hand to grasp others…
So if the word healing, acceptance, surrender or letting go is a concept that you do not like, perchance have a feel at the why in you and what is underneath that recalcitrance may no longer be denied and you can choose to be free. Especially if you know, and have had others report to you of an non-form entity attached to you.
The Demon entity that was attached to my heart energy center, was as old and ugly as the covetous envy it was full of. It had been on me since the time of my spirit in-form participating in humanities creation.
My grief allowed it attach to my broken heart. How we connect to each other is through our hearts. It is where we find and grow our passions. (not sexual- but creative, generative.) All my efforts to uplift humanity to what it could be would be thwarted until I could face the ways I hid love, sabotaged love out of fear of those feelings in that long past moment.
Until I could accept that it was I who chose to disconnect to my heart my ability to love myself and others would be compromised. “They” would win the right to utilize my heart energy.
These Demon entity attachments very effectively hide where we have not yet acknowledged and released. The “vampiric” feeding loop created by these attachments is the worst part of this. This is how we sabotage ourselves, choose people in our lives that mirror and rationalize the low self worth and powerless-ness of denying the potent power of choice our spirits have. Hidden in our own worst fears, and highly charged emotions we deny the full emotional impact of what we have been through here.
There is only one solution, to make the choice to let go of what has hurt us. Denial is not making any choice. The re-form-ation, reclamation of our spirit, in our hearts over our heads rationalized excuses to avoid facing our shadow parts is exactly what the false controllers do not want us to do.
I unmade that non-choice. I faced what I denied. It has taken me months to write this, as part of my ongoing process and let go of even further layers. Its all part of the process to be accountable to my choice to be happier, Love more unconditionally.
In 2013, the visions I was having culminated frequency wise to the point that I began to receive sentences from my whole self spirit. They were often of such conceptually multilayered deep meaning that I would continue to receive insights from them for years afterwards.
Today I got another layer revealed in me of this sentences meaning and intent.
We were at the fullest spectrum of our frequencies in the beginning. We were unchanged by human experience.
The long plan of the false cons to diminish and narrow our frequencies bandwidth in form had not yet taken place. Our missions then, at the beginning were different to what they have become now. Now, they are to save ourselves.
I hope this has helped some understand more about our frequencies, and how to re-master then. And to understand what has been going on for me of late, why I have not finished the energy clearing audios.
I know I am not alone in what I have been though. We are all connected and we need to really know that. We are not alone in our heartfelt wish to be understood, respected and Loved for who we are, not what has happened to us.
We each have to save ourselves by making the choice to no longer deny what we need to face, and let go of ~ to re-claim our unique creational frequencies.